elsinore rose

jordisstigander:

teal-deer:

Y'ever think about what absolute mad decadence we live in that “vanilla” means “plain”

Anytime someone says ‘it’s just vanilla ice cream’ I have to restrain myself from saying, “ah yes, the flavor produced by the seeds of a tropical orchid, a flower which blossoms for a single day before dying, the second most expense spice in the world. Just that.”

Historically, the spices I have in my cabinet are an embarrassment of riches. I have there a large container of whole black peppercorns which I grate fresh over my food. Multiple containers of cinnamon because I forgot I already had some. Ginger, cardamom, red pepper flakes, whole cloves and ground, nutmeg and turmeric. Kings and emperors have not eaten food so well spiced.

I have vanilla ice cream in my freezer (cold! frozen! when the rich would pay fortunes to send for ice from mountains to chill fruit in the summers). I am going to put on my silk robe, fix myself a bowl, and feast.

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

Anonymous asked: hey do you think ronald mcdonald is a dom or sub. i sent this before but im not sure if you got it or not

hungwy:

yeah i got it last time

elsinore-rose:

read on ao3

updated with chapter two!

susiephone:

darcy’s first proposal he’s like “hello woman who is half an inch away from snapping my neck, i have something to tell you and you have to hear this right now, i must tell you how i feel, sit there and listen as i monologue” and then when he delivers the letter he’s like “i’ll just leave this here, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to, sorry for bothering you” and then his second proposal he’s like “if you’re still not into it, i promise i will never bring it up again, i’m only here darkening your doorstep because i heard from my aunt that you maybe don’t hate me anymore but if i’m wrong, just say so and i’ll dip, sorry for bothering you again”

ladies, you ever reject a man so hard he learns boundaries for the first time in his life?

(via ameliajessicapond)

wombuttress:

sounddesignerjeans:

evil-britney:

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

you mean, skin?

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

chandra-nalaar:

slimetony:

hey people who know astrology shit. ive been having a lot of feeligs lately. any planets i can blame that on.

earth

(via neornithes)

averycutemoose:

me walking on my own in the rain at night: wow the pavement really does shine like silver and all the lights sure are misty in the river. look at those trees. they’re full of starlight

(via neornithes)

slavicstarks:

there’s no way caleb didn’t drag essek back to the necromantic gem on their aeor date

ragabond:

this is a poem

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

funnytwittertweets:

(via dingdongyouarewrong)